Advent ~ A Season of Hope

Well, here we are in our third Advent season of this adoption journey. The travel has been treacherous thus far, and there is little cause for hope that it will get any better. But that is just what we need, HOPE, to sustain us through this challenge.

As in advent, we hope for the coming of Jesus with certainity that He will come again, (we just don't know when), so in this adoption we hope for the coming of a referral with certainity that it will come, (we just don't know when). It is not always easy to keep the hope, and I spend plenty of days in despair, wrestling with the fact that I may never be a Mom. But there is always something that comes to give me hope.

Sometimes it comes in the form of a package from a secret pal on an especially dark day. Sometimes it comes from an email from a friend that I haven't heard from in a while just checking in to see how I am doing. Sometimes it comes from following along when a cyber friend travels to China to meet their child for the first time. Sometimes it comes in a card from Half-the-Sky that tells me that a family member cares enough to send a donation in the HOPE that it will somehow benefit Ladybug.

So thank you all for being an angel that brings me the grace to hope another day. I wish you all a very HOPEFUL Christmas and a joyous New Year!

:D

The Miracle of the Soggy Home Study

Our current 171-H (permission to bring home a foreign born orphan) expires on November 11, 2009. We have to update our paperwork every 18 months. The update includes criminal background checks, DMV record checks, Child Protective Services background checks, medical exams and a visit to our home by our Social Worker. It's kinda a big deal.

Our home visit was October 12. Because of recent changes to the way USCIS approves couples to bring an orphan to the US, we had to have major tweaks to our home study, so it took a little longer than normal. While our SW was updating our study, another couple had some issues with the USCIS, so she wanted to get to the bottom of that issue to make sure that our home study was compliant.

So finally, on October 23, our SW FedExed our homestudy update and papers to us. Mind you, this package contains our homestudies (our entire life history ~ how we were raised, our relationships with our families, our education, how we met and fell in love, how we plan to parent, our financial situation, etc.), copies of our birth certificates, copy of our marriage licence, copies of our drivers licences, our social security numbers, you get the idea ~ mega personal stuff.

We thought it might come on Monday, but the FedEx tracker said that the package would be delivered on Tuesday by 7 pm.

Tuesday evening, I was at church for our parish mission. The theme of the night was the gospel of Luke, and Fr. Jude spoke a lot about discernment. How we know if we are following God's plan when things seem to fall in place and we feel a certain peace.

So when we got home (B was at another meeting) and discovered that neither of us picked up the package, we checked the tracker, and it said that it was delivered at 2:36 PM. I was out in the rain, searching the yard with a flash light looking to see if the package somehow blew into the bushes. It was 9:15 pm, too late to knock on neighbors' doors to see if they received the package by mistake. B got on the phone with FedEx and demanded to know where the package was delivered, but they were unable to tell us anything until they spoke to the driver in the morning.

I jumped online to see when the paperwork HAD to be in to the USCIS. Basically, the answer was asap. We called our SW on her cell phone to see if we could arrange a new package to be put together on Wednesday so we could drive down and pick it up. Our SW told us that they would track the package first thing Wednesday AM, and if need be drop another one in FedEx so it would arrive Friday. Cutting it way close for comfort! Plus there was the "small" matter of our super personal information being lost somewhere out in the world!

We were just so devastated. We have hit road block after road block in this adoption journey. What if this was a sign that we were just supposed to stop the insanity and pull out of China? I was IMing my friend during this crisis while researching online, and she said that God does not communicate that way ~ it is more of the devil's MO. So after much soul searching and tears, we went to bed around 11:30 pm, ready to get up first thing and start tracking and deciding what to do.

Around midnight, our dog started barking. I heard the storm door open and close. I thought it might not be latched, and since it was stormy out, the wind was blowing it around. So I grab my glasses and my robe and stumble down the stairs to check the door. When I opened the door, guess what I found ~ a very soggy FedEx package containing our home study packet!

The pages were a bit wet around the bottom edge, but I was able to dry them with my hair dryer, and then I put them under our big family bible to flatten out. The were in great shape in the morning, and we were able to sign them and put them in the express mail later that day.

So, is the miracle that the FedEx driver came out at midnight to deliver a lost package?

Or is it that a neighbor got home at midnight and found the misdelivered package and decided to bring it to us right then and there instead of waiting until morning?

Or perhaps the miracle that God saw our despair and stepped in and said "You are going to complete this adoption. You will have that home study tonight," and prompted someone to bring us that package that night.

This has been a long strange journey. It has at times alienated me from God, and at other times given me great insight into our relationship with Him. Right now we are on good terms. I hope this is the beginning of a climb out of this valley to a wonderful new peak!

:D

New Strategy....

In 1997, I leased a Dodge Stratus, mainly because it was a nice big car suitable for kids, which we planned on having soon after we were married.

In 2002, we purchased a Ford Focus Stationwagon, mainly because it was a nice big car suitable for kids, which we planned on having later that year.

12 years later: no kids, but a "grocery getter" for a car.

So, in an effort to tempt the adoption fates into a faster referral, we decided to get a sporty 2010 Mazada 3! It's not a "family" car in the strictest sense, and that is just perfect for us! It will be a fun car to drive around for a few years. If and when we have kiddos, we'll trade in B's car for a more kid friendly vehicle.

I finished piecing the 100 wishes quilt this weekend. I just have the boarder to put on, then to get it to the quilter! I'll post pictures when it is all set for the quilter!

We are having a wonderful fall so far. We had visitors from the North, enjoyed the State Fair, and are emersed in post-season baseball. Go Yankees and Phillies!

Hope you are enjoying this wonderful season!

:D

If you come to a fork in the road....

... take it! Wise words from Yogi Berra.

That describes this point in my life perfectly! After 29 months of "waiting" to adopt from China, I've decided to take the fork and pursue both goals of advancing my carrer and being a parent. We'll just have to wait and see which path ends up working out!

I applied for the MBA program and start classes next Spring. With an MBA, I'll be able to advance in the academic world and it will also prepare me for work outside the university if life leads me in that direction.

It is very odd working towards mutliple, mutually exclusive goals, but that is the best move with the hand that I have been dealt! Hopefully this will keep me nimble enough to deal with the next curveball life throws.

We had a wonderful summer with family vacations and visits. But I am done with the heat and humidity and I am looking foward to crisp autumn days and the changing colors.

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods!
:D

More Musings on Lemons

Well, I think my head and my heart are finally in agreement that it is going to be another 3 years yet before we bring Ladybug home. Along with that comes the probability that she will be our one and only.

The journey has not been a picnic. "It will be worth it in the end" makes me want to throw up. I'm coming to terms that the wait is worth it NOW.

I've seen many of my cyber friends' marriages crumble under the stress of adopting from China. I think that our marriage is stronger for it. I am convinced now more than ever that I truly married my soul mate and my best friend. It isn't without its problems, but it is a great marriage and I wouldn't change one minute of it. With out the wait, it may have taken me years to realize the treasure I have in my dear husband.

Many of our friends tell us "Enjoy your free time now, because once you have kids you won't have any." We have taken that to heart. We have sleep-in days, naps in the afternoon, take day trips, plan big vacations. We enjoy grown-up TV shows and movies. And this has strenthened our relationship and our enjoyment of life.

I truly think this will help us be better parents, as well. We've had 11 years together as a married couple. We've spent 7 years waiting for a child to come into our lives. My sincere hope is that I have no regrets about having a child, that I never wish that I had one more "sleep in day", never wish I could have just one day to myself, never offer my child to a friend (or stranger) because "I just need a break." I hope this wait will prepare me to embrace the busy-ness that a child brings into the home.

So you will forgive me, dear blog reader, if I post here less often about the adoption. Since we are now through the Review Room, there really is no news to tell until we get referral 3 years from now. I will continue to post interesting happenings in our family, but I imagine that updates will be sparse.

Under the interesting happenings category, B received an award this week from a law enforcement agency because of his work on a case that helped put a loan shark in jail and ensure that his victims receive restitution. I've posted a picture from the night. It was a great evening in a grand old building!

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods!

:D

Cute Poem

A dear friend of mine sent this along to me. I don't know who wrote it, but man, can I relate!

YOU MIGHT BE ADOPTING FROM CHINA IF:

~You know that I-600 & I-171 aren't highways....

~You've been expecting a baby for over 3 years....

~You understand that it's 2006 in some parts of the world....

~You've "paid for" 3 citizenships, but never brought anyone into the U.S....

~You know that waiting for China has nothing to do with Dillards or dishes..

~Your homestudy is followed by a number (i.e. #3 or #4)...

~You never know how many days next month will have...

~You know that babies come in batches...

~You've been fingerprinted four times, but never committed a crime...

~You automatically assume everyone who is expecting is having a girl...

~You own new clothing in 3 little sizes for all 4 seasons...

~You look twice when you see a lady bug...

~You're more interested in what will happen in March 2006 than in March 2009...

~You know people who understand when you talk about 2 day months & 5 day months...

~Your due date hasn't changed by days, but by years...

~You know who the Rumor Queen is ... AND ... you don't know who she is...

~You know that forecast doesn't have anything to do with the weather...

~You've waited so long, they re-checked your fingerprints to see if they changed...

~Trying to understand why they're printing you again, you study your own fingerprints and wonder if fingerprints grow wrinkles...

~When you speak of "that time of month" you're talking about CCAA updates & referrals...

And finally...

You might be adopting from China if you love someone you've never met with all your heart

Author ~ Unknown

MEGA Tear Jerker

I'm having trouble with YouTube in posting the actual video here, so I'll just do the link for now.

BEFORE you click on it, grab some kleenex. Seriously, go grab them. I'll wait.

The words are powerful, but the pictures are what did it for me. Someone made this for their little one. They obviously got a referral because they have some picutres. I think the orphanage pics are from someone else. They haven't traveled yet (at the time they made the video).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcPBA9-wyZE#

This hit me so hard today. I can totally relate to this song and the video. The room is all ready, just no Kiddo to sleep in it yet.

The end of the song gives me hope that this will happen, someday. Until then, it is such a comfort to know that others are enduring this wait, and even made a song about it!

Maybe a candidate for the adoption video. What do you think?

:D

Wonderful Surprise!

We received a phone call over the weekend from one of the local FCC (Families with Children from China) families. They have an annual tradition of providing the flowers for their church on the weekend closest to the day that they met their daughter in China. After services, they then give the flowers to a waiting family to help boost their spirits and wish them luck in the process. The family selected us to receive the flowers this year! They just stopped over and delivered the flowers. It was 14 years ago today that they first met their daughter. She is a lovely young lady now!

We are so touched by this gesture. It is a goregous arrangement, and I plan on pressing some of them to put in Ladybug's scrapbook. We are truly blessed with a wonderful support network here!

Hope all is well with you!

:D

OUT OF REVIEW!!!

WHOOOO HOOOOO! We got the official word today that our file is now out of the review room! What a fantastic Lunar New Year Present!

This means that the CCAA has reviewed our file and found it acceptable. No questions, no additional information needed ~ we are approved!

We still have no idea how much longer it will be unti we get a referral for our Ladybug. Things are going very slow. We hope it will be within the next 2 years or so.

This is truly a big milestone worth celebrating. We are just thrilled to have this hurdle behind us.

So far the year of the Ox is shaping up pretty well! We are both Oxen, so maybe this is a good sign that 2009 will be a wonderful year.

Keep up the prayers for bringing Ladybug home soon!

:D